


porn's thicciest fanfic

by hormones



Category: P.ORN
Genre: 3 isnt a crowd, BEST BAND EVER, Crazy, Multi, band practice, chaotic - Freeform, put on ur sunglasses-its abt to be liT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2019-11-09 02:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17993297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hormones/pseuds/hormones
Summary: stuff goes down at band practice on night





	1. Chapter 1

porn is jamming out like usual, when emma suddenly stops on the guitar on righteously declares, "i gotta pee." and so it was. emma leaves to pee, and deckard gets an idea. "wanna make out, spouse of 7 years?"   
"yes, of course big deckky baby" roman replies then they started mackin out right there, music forgotten, expect for the queen on the background because its on deckard's "fuckin" playlist. Suddently, emma burts in. "what?!??" exclaims emma."y'all fuckin??"   
"weve been dating for 7 years emma" said roman, the clearly more rational of the 2.  
"i suppose you wanted to keep me away from this," emma says looking down, "considering id be jealous bc im in love with roman"  
"nope" deckard says, bored as ever.  
"we just forgot to tell you" said roman.  
"but if youre actually in love wih me......"

then deckard and roman fucked and emma watched

thanks for reading dodge the straight propaganda.


	2. Porn's thiccest fanfic Part 2: Into the Porn-verse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things heat up when stevie joins the mix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry god i know i said could stay free of sin i oopsed it

Porn's Thicciest Fanfic Part 2: Into the Porn-verse

Ever since the time when emma witnessed the delicious tango between porch and the fallen empire, nothing could ruin their good mood.  
"hooray!" screeched emma.  
"You hurt me with that shit, you know that?" said emma's bird. Not brought down by the negativity of her holy Mel, emma started packing up her things for band practice. Once at band practice The Mr. steve dude is waiting at the door.  
"what the fuckkk???" said emma.  
"I'm here to teach you a thing or 2, when you yeetus that meetus with roman and deck"  
this made emma more mad, who was this stranger to say this when he hadnt even shaken her hand properly!! it was a very sloppy handshake, all wet and stuff, covered in frosting, and a shade of green. he didnt even bother to trim his nails before.  
"look bucko" emma said with the confidence of a cowboy who had just chowed down some avocado, "you dont even know rome and deck, i do!!! I saw their forbidden bits do the hokey pokey"   
"yeah me too, TWICE" the stranger said, one upping her.  
emma started crying, she had only seen the sacred dirty deed once.  
then emma yelled exotically and Mel suddenly appeared, picked her up by the ear, and brought her home. Emma took off her bird seed filled shoes and gave them to Mel as a thank you. Mel grabbed the shoes and promptly pushed some pens and shit off a near by table than spat on it. Suddenly, emma realized something she grabbed her phone and called deck. she asked him a very important question.  
"How many times have you and rome dipped the clitsa in the lava?"  
"oh man, i've only slayed the vadragon once my man" emma gasped.  
she quickly ran to her computer and hacked to government. once she was in she looked up "grease man" on their database and BAMN! there was the man from the doorstep. she also committed tax fraud and cheated the stock market, but thats besides the point. Emma tracked down this wack man using the skills she had newly learned from spy kids 2, and soon the two were face to face.  
"WHO ARE YOU!!!!????" emma whispered in his ear.  
"I'm the steve man!! i play the keyboard!" he said panickedly, raising his hands in defense. emma took this opportunity to high five him twice.  
"YOU LIED!!!!" emma said, this time to his lil tum tum.  
"im sorry! i just wanted to seem like i knew romeo and porch deck!"  
"you dont know them" emma said, her eyes squinty with the power of a thousand knowledges, "im in love with them!!!" emma's face remained self assured but internally she started freaking out. wait did I say both of them? im supposed to only be in love with one of them!! oh no, is deckus weckus the other man for me?? he does have those pink eyelids, and a nose that works!! ugghh!! nostrils hard at air pumpin are my kryptonite!!  
emma quickly punched stevie in the face and called Mel at the revelation.  
once they got back mel said,  
"im not getting any younger with this trips, ya know", while smoking a cigar and in 1950s pearl jewelry. emma ignored her and went into her room and sulked until she had to do soccer practice. then she did that. then she cane back home and sulked some more. when she suddenly got a great idea!!   
"I know!" she said. And she went to work on her plan. Soon a gold limo was picking her up from her house. When she got to deck's house they laid down rose petals and lit candles, even put on jazz, and waiting for rome to arrive. When they finally came all 3 commenced. It was emma's dream, fucking deck and roman while deck and rome watched and stevie played "we are the champions" very slowly on his keyboard. The End.

happy birthday :)

**Author's Note:**

> ur welcome lol


End file.
